With 2004 coming to an end and 2005 within our sight our mindset is focused on New Year’s Resolutions. We all make them, or at least we say that we are making them. What happens after that is the mystery. Do they get carried out or do they quickly fizzle out as the New Year gets under way? Maybe the effort is too futile and we are actually setting ourselves up for failure because we are trying to accomplish something we really can’t complete. Is there a better way or are we just doomed each year to the same old “talk the talk and not walk the walk.”

Let’s first look at what a New Year’s Resolution really means. By definition a resolution is a determination to do something. Maybe it is to lose weight, to get a new job, to enter into or terminate a relationship or to start a family. Whatever the choice it usually involves a reflection of the past year and a hope for the next one, allowing still another opportunity to do something different. So where does it go awry? Do we just have good intentions but no plan to create change?

Probably the first thing that comes to mind is the nature of the resolution. Is it reasonable to achieve. Is it within our means to obtain? Does it involve magical thinking of how we would like things to be or is it grounded in reality? Will it create more stress than the outcome would generate. Some causes for failure might include unrealistic expectations, financial constraints, lack of discipline, and a poor support system.

Let’s talk about going on a diet, one of the more common resolutions made each year. One way to embark on a weight loss program is to take an inventory of your current eating habits and write down how much food you eat in a day. Then with that information figure out 1 food you can eliminate each day. In addition to this you might want to evaluate how active you are and then add a brisk walk a few days a week. What I am suggesting is to make your goal of losing weight a manageable task by creating small steps easy to accomplish.

Another area common to many is that of relationships. Maybe you have been thinking for a while that yours needs work and a New Year’s Resolution sounds just perfect to fix it.” Well first of all it takes 2 people to commit to effect change. And we know that we really can’t control another’s behavior so our chances of success in this endeavor are slim. However, calling the counselor for an appointment for couples counseling may be premature. But perhaps talking to your significant other about this decision might be just the thing to get the ball rolling.

In making those New Year’s resolutions start small and then build on your successes. New Year’s Resolutions can only be as rewarding as the follow through. So you can make this year different by setting a goal, making it special to your needs and surrounding yourself with positive people to embrace your successes.

Barbara Peters is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice in Cumming. Visit her website at www.bjpcounseling.com

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