Greater Rome Times

Recently, a mother and father notified law enforcement after their child reported meeting a person offering sexually explicit information online. Local, state, and federal authorities cooperated to bring this individual to justice. During their investigation, a female detective posed online as a 13 year-old girl named “Becky”. She began “chatting” with the individual and subsequently began receiving graphic images and video files of children engaged in various sexual activities. The following is a sample of their online “conversation” (adapted from Monteleone, 1998):

Becky: I’m going to my aunt’s a week from Friday.

Individual: Really. How long will you be there?

Becky: Friday and Saturday, leaving late Sunday night. My parents are going to

Chicago.

Individual: Do you want me to come up and see you?

Becky: My aunt works a double shift on the weekend.

Individual: Who is at the house when she’s working, your uncle?

Becky: No one. She’s single.

Individual: I can be there at 3 on Friday.

The individual then said he wanted to speak with Becky on the phone and asked for her telephone number. While on the phone, he asked to meet her and offered her gifts. With law enforcement’s knowledge and approval, Becky set up a meeting. When the individual showed up, he was arrested. The individual turned out to be a married father of four young children. He worked for a municipal department of recreation as a volunteer coach for children’s sports.

We are all aware of the obvious dangers facing our children when they leave the safety of our homes: stranger abductions, sexual abuse and harassment. We would never expect our children to be victimized within our own homes. But the reality is that technology has invited predators into our homes and given them access to our children.

Every day, pedophiles court our children via the internet. The statistics are startling (Finklehor, et al., 2000): 1 out of 5 children ages 10-15 have received some type of sexual solicitation online; 1 out of 4 children have received unwanted exposure to nudity online; and 1 out of 17 children have been threatened or harassed online. Eighty-nine percent of sexual solicitations to children were made either in an internet chat room (65%) or instant message (24%). Yet despite the prevalence of online predatory behavior, only one out of four children who encountered a sexual solicitation told a parent.

The internet is a valuable and convenient resource. Regardless of your child’s age, the internet has something to offer. Young children may use the internet to search for games, clubs or magazines. Chat rooms, cyberzines and music sites may appeal to teens. It is unrealistic to think that we can protect our children from the dangers of the internet by unilaterally banning access to computers. Rather, common sense dictates that parents educate themselves on the risks and assume an active role in monitoring and protecting their children’s online activities. The following are some helpful guidelines for both parents and kids on ensuring a pleasant and safe online experience:

Internet safety tips:

1. Become familiar with the internet, and more specifically, the online services your child uses.
2. Create guidelines for online usage in your family (i.e. keep the computer in an accessible and open location in your home, limit the amount of recreational time spent online, list acceptable sites your child may visit, etc.).
3. Become familiar with your child’s online friends. Routinely check your child’s buddy list.
4. Teach your child that a stranger is a stranger. Online interactions may give a false sense of intimacy and/or familiarity. Regardless of how friendly someone appears online, that person is still a stranger. Your child would not strike up a conversation with a stranger on the street- the same rule applies online. Children should be reminded that divulging even basic personal information (i.e. name, address, phone number, school mascot, city they live in, etc.) could allow a stranger to find out where they live. Do not allow your child to have an online profile.
5. Never allow your child to meet an online “friend” in person unless you are present. Arrange to meet in a public place, and if the other person is a child, their parent(s) should also be present.
6. Never allow your children to send pictures of themselves or give a physical description of themselves or family members without your consent. Photographs can be altered, identify your child, and subsequently place your child at risk.
7. Teach your child to approach the internet with a healthy skepticism. People online may misrepresent themselves (i.e. a “13 year-old girl” may in reality be a 45 year-old man). Be wary of offers involving meeting someone or someone visiting. Be careful when responding to emails. Return addresses can be falsified. If you cannot verify the sender, do not answer the email.
8. Maintain regular access to your child’s online account. Discuss the importance of you having access to their account. Be privy to their password and randomly check their email, review their downloads (especially .gif or .jpg files), and review the browser history to determine which websites your child visits.
9. Contact your internet service provider and ask about parental controls. If necessary, purchase software specifically designed to keep kids safe online.
10. Remember- children have access to the internet even when they are not home (i.e. school, friends’ homes, cell phones, library, etc.). Find out where your child has internet access and what safeguards are in place at these locations.
11. If your child becomes the target of offensive, threatening or otherwise inappropriate content online, immediately report the incident to law enforcement. Ask law enforcement for help in reporting your concerns to the internet service provider. Report illegal sites to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (1-800-843-5678).
12. Utilize online experiences as another opportunity to teach your child responsibility, values and the importance of personal safety.

Although children may be more internet savvy than adults, we can still protect them simply by remaining involved. Showing an interest in and carefully monitoring their online activity is the best defense. The Forsyth County Sheriff’s Office offers a free handbook titled “Internet and Cell Phone Safety for Your Kids”. This handbook outlines various tips for parents and kids to keep them safe on the internet. Copies are available at the receptionist’s office at the Forsyth County Jail, and the north and south precincts of the Forsyth County Sheriff’s Office. The handbook can also be accessed and downloaded free at the Forsyth County Sheriff’s Office website (www.forsythsheriff.org).