The month of August is now under way and the children are getting settled in their new grade. After a short summer season where routines were lax, homework absent and feelings of freedom common, our gears have shifted. Maybe our lives are more complicated with hectic schedules and family responsibilities. Does this create yet another stressor?

After a period of little responsibility and limited demands, the reality of alarm clocks, homework, schedules and obligation resumes. For a smooth transition to occur, resourcefulness is a necessary ingredient. It’s mostly through a positive state of mind that problems can be avoided. Whether it be your child’s first exposure to the school environment, or a first time in a middle school, high school or college, a certain amount of fear and anxiety is expected. Looking at rewards rather than consequences can mean a successful transition rather than a problematic one. Here are some things to keep in mind when responding to a child/teenager fearing this experience.

Fear of meeting new friends. Remind your child that he/she is loved and encourage them to love themselves. Then others will see them for who they are and feel lucky to have them as friends.

Shopping for school clothes and supplies. Remind them to keep in mind who they are and what kinds of clothes make them feel comfortable. They need to dress for themselves, not for others.

Respond to negative statements with a positive reply. Remember that children and adolescents have a need to feel good about themselves amidst the imperfect world they live in, and they look to parents for validation that they will be O.K.

Validate their feelings, just to show they count and that you are sensitive to their fears. Let them know that you are aware that their reality might be different from your own and that you are willing to take a peek into their world.

Be there to hear about those first few days/weeks in school and continue to provide a sense of empathy for where they are, remembering back to when you as parents were in their shoes.

Lastly, but certainly not least is to take care of yourselves. Use positive affirmations to see the good in you as a source of energy to strengthen your varied role as a parent, career person, friend, neighbor, etc. And most of all, enjoy these school years for they pass very quickly.

Barbara Peters is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Private Practice In Cumming, GA Visit her website at www.bjpcounseling.com